I walk into the gym. Shoes squeaking softly, echoing throughout the whole building. People talking in the distance. Hearing onloy there breath. It gets louder and louder. I could here something that sounded like a tennis ball being hit. Every so often there would be a tennis ball being hit, squeaking shoes get softer and softer. Then, it goes and starts over. Shoes squeak. Ball gets hit. But wait it is different. Its now soft and calm. Shoes squeak, Ball being hit. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. Now it sounded calm, very happy and active. Then out of nowhere it everything just stopped. And I went on thinking what that sound really was.
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I like how you used a different sport (tennis) to describe another sport (basketball). I love how you made everything sound so calm because when I watch basketball, I see a controlled chaos but now that I think of it, it is sorta calm at times. I think that you did a good job describing the game even though you claimed that you didn't. I loved that you put an onomatopoeia in there (the swoosh, swoosh, swoosh part of your writing). I think that you did really well describing the whole sound of the game.
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